Managing Expectations

The thing about expectations is that it is often times not met. That’s just the way life is. Things go wrong, people go wrong, and life just is a bitch.

I find that when I expect certain things from certain people who have repeatedly shown tendencies for letting me down, I end up hurting myself with disappointment and anger when things don’t go the way I expected them to.

This is where managing expectations come in. Sure, some people want to believe the best in everyone. They choose to have faith even when faced repeatedly with disappointment. But of course you already know I’m not like that. There’s only so much disappointment I can take before I combust. It’s happened before, and no doubt it will happen again.

The silly thing however, is that I can’t help but to have expectations. Then I’d be hit by disappointment. Once, twice, thrice… Until it reaches a point when I finally move beyond hurt and disappointment into the realm of… Numbness.

Yep, numbness. When people give me something to expect, I’d mentally and emotionally brace myself for the inevitable disappointment that will be coming. That way, when it finally comes, the bitter taste of disappointment would be easier to swallow because I’ve already expected its arrival. And instead of the steep dive, it’d instead be a gradual descent. Yes, I’d still hit the bottom, but now the impact is lessened.

That’s not the way I’d like to be. But that’s the way I prevent myself from receiving the full brunt of the trauma. It’s the same way your skin becomes thicker and more calloused the more you put it through. Ultimately, it’s to protect yourself from harm.

Sometimes I do wonder if it’s just me setting myself up for disappointment or if it’s just my luck meeting people who cannot help disappointing me. Or maybe it’s a sign that the two parties are just not meant to expect or fulfill each other’s expectations?

If A can only give 75% at most and B expects a minimum of 85% every time, would it be better if B would just move on and find another party who can at least give 85% consistently and let A find someone else who’d be perfectly fine with 75%? Or should B manage his expectations and lower it to 75% so that he won’t be disappointed with A?

I guess it boils down to how much B wants to make it work with A?

Then again, I guess you can flip it and ask if A should work on giving more than 75% in order to meet B’s expectations instead.

Would you then be able to see if it’s A or B who would be more willing to put in the effort to make it work?

Or maybe they should just both meet half way at 80%? Easier said than done.

Ah, I’m rambling and I don’t even know if this all makes sense at this point. Maybe when I come back to this in a couple of hours I’d be wondering what on earth I was rambling on about.

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