Grey

No. Not referring the softcore porn book/movie.

Rainy days. I know of someone who hated rainy days. Still does. He claims it’s wet and depressing. I agree. It usually brings out the worst in me. Yet, there’s this perverse attraction to it. It puts me in an exceptionally melancholic mood. Which, if you’ve known me long enough, that I’m prone to lapse into. I hate it. And yet I can’t seem to stop dwelling on it. I’ve always been like this for as long as I can remember. Is it the masochist in me?

I really have to stop blogging only when I’m depressed. This is so draining to write and to read. Oddly enough, I feel better every time I write about things. However vaguely it is.

Hahaha. I’ve written an entire block of text which makes no sense whatsoever and doesn’t give any indication as to what inspired this depressing entry.

I want someone with whom I can have intelligent conversations. Someone with whom I can use words like euphemisms, epitome, etc. Someone with whom I don’t have to dumb down my vocabulary or tone down my vulgarity for. Someone who doesn’t treat me like an afterthought who’s only good for a little fun. Someone who treats me with respect. Someone who gets me and my quirks.

I haven’t met that someone yet.

7 thoughts on “Grey

  1. If you’re from the UK, then that melancholic mood of yours could very well become your default mood. My room is sort of like the attic room where there’s this slanted window that looks out towards the sky. If I had no assignments or exams to sit for, I’d probably spend a lot of time in my room, listening to the sound of rain against the slanted window while drinking the quintessential cup of tea, with some emo sentimental music playing in the background. Or, curled up under my duvet with a book from the pile that I’ve collected from secondhand bookshops. Can’t believe I’ll be graduating soon and start working D: nooooo

    • I think me in that perpetual state would be quite frightening… Though your room does sound amazing. Something like a skylight of sorts?
      I can’t believe you’re graduating soon either! The years literally just flew by. Are you staying there to find work?

      • Yeah, something like that. I think I would have to actually have a job offer before I graduate to stay, don’t think I’m allowed to stay back to find a job. And since I’m not actively looking for one — don’t even know what to look for — I guess I’ll most likely be heading back.The thought of an office job is enough to make me feel depressed …

  2. I hate the rain. Will always hate the rain.
    You really gotta blog more of happy things to balance back this space.
    If you happen to meet someone like that. That would be great, if not someone who is 80% will do fine I guess. And guys don’t get hints…

    • I need more happy materials to blog about. Lol. Ah well, at least I’m blogging. That’s a start.

      Hints? I don’t get hints either. Not sure if you’re referring to anyone in particular or just giving me general advice…

  3. I’m sure you have some happy materials to blog about. But most of it just didn’t make it here. Anyway, that’s a general advice, not anyone in particular. But, you are awesome just the way you are. That’s my genuine feeling =)

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