Sometimes I wonder

Have you ever worried about ending up sad and alone when you’re old and gray?

I do. Especially nearing milestones in my life.

I am turning a quarter of a century old this week, that’s two and a half decades!

And yet here I am. Alone.

Sometimes I wonder if this is it. I’m going to stay like this, never finding the other half of my soul, forever doomed to walk the length of the earth alone in search for my better half.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve already picked up my other half of the wings before but instead of treasuring it and soaring to new heights with it, I have carelessly broken them and thus dooming my own fate.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me being not good enough and undeserving of the missing piece of the puzzle.

Sometimes I wonder if the phrase ‘good things come to those who wait’ have any ring of truth in it or if it’s just made up by people who want to make those who are waiting fruitlessly feel better about themselves.

It’s my fault. I know. I like to sit in my corner of the forest and not let people in. It’s something that has plagued me most of my life. Even when people crossed rivers and scaled mountains to reach my corner of the forest, I push them away and retrieve into my cave.

Change is hard.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late for me.

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