I’ve written a similar-themed post way back in 2010. Today, I decided to write a bit more about this, let’s just hope I don’t sound too repetitive.
Anyway, today’s blog post is actually inspired by the Pak Cik who used to sell fried bananas and various other crisps and whatnot at the Kelana Jaya LRT station. I said used to, because I just got to know that he passed away a couple of days ago in an accident.
Now, we all see news about deaths every day in the newspaper. Accidents, murders, even capital punishments of criminals on death row. In theory, being exposed to deaths everyday should probably have numbed my senses. But the truth is, I supposed it is human nature to feel at least some sort of emphathy towards such devastating fate, even more so when it hits so close to home. I’ve seen this Pak Cik almost every day for the past year ever since he started selling food at the station with his wife and sometimes his sons. I’ve even bought some from him a couple of times. To think that he would never ever be there again, never showing up to to man his stall, never sell another packet of fried bananas… It’s almost too hard to accept that he’s just gone in a flash of a second due to an accident.
I am only 23 this year. But age really doesn’t matter, death does not discriminate. Chances are, a one year old baby is just as likely to die tomorrow as an 80 year old man. So while it may be considered morbid for me to think about planning things out for the people I love just in case I die tomorrow, I still do it. Sometimes I sit and think for hours about life carrying on after my death. Would the money I have be properly distributed to my family? Would my belongings be kept the way they are right now or would they be stowed away in some unseen corner? Perhaps they would be thrown out instead? What about my old diaries and personal notes and letters? Would anyone go through them? Gosh, that’d be embarrassing.
If given a choice, I think I would prefer to know when I’d die or at least, have a gradual descent into death. But then again, who doesn’t? A sudden death just leaves so much loose ends. It’s like, you never got to say goodbye properly. One second you are here, the next second a heart attack takes you away from everyone and everything else that you’ve ever known and loved.
I don’t really believe that there is a life after death. To me, death signifies the end of the road. There is no more second chances to do it right. This is going to sound terribly cliche but as I write this, I realise that there is only ever one point.
You only live once, make it count.