妒忌心

I’ll admit it. I do tend to be pretty envious/jealous when I see other people my age doing so much more than me. It makes me feel like such a failure to be still here, doing nothing while the others shine and succeed in their lives.

In my 21 years of life, I haven’t even accomplished anything of which that I can be majorly proud of. Le-sigh. There’s always someone smarter, prettier, and better than me. I guess you could say that the opposite is also true. But contentment was never one of my strong traits, along with patience and a horde of other “positive” values.

I’d like to think though, that this lack of contentment with my life in general makes me wanna push forward and be even better than I am now. Which is easier said than done, but that is not the point. The point is, I want so badly to actually feel accomplished that I’m willing to work and work until I reach my goal. So I’m guessing that that is a good thing after all.

Now, I just need an attitude adjustment to stop myself from procrastinating so much and start believing in myself more. I know I can achieve more. Now I just need to know how.

3 thoughts on “妒忌心

  1. I think at times everyone will go through this. Even know when I see others making more money than me, I ask myself how come I’m not in their jobs or a job that makes lots of money like they do. I always find I do not have enough money to spend! But the question is why do you think you have not succeeded? You are still in school, you should not think about diverting your time to taking in a job – you should fully concentrate on your studies!

    To compare ourselves to others is a great way of feeling deperessed. I’m the guiltiest person of that, I compare myself all the time and like you, I think there is someone smarter, more handsome and better than me – and makes me shit-depressed. I don’t see what you don’t have in life that makes you feel like you lack something. You have a family, you have a boyfriend, you are accomplishing your studies, you have great friends, you have money and you are so pretty – what more is there to ask for?

    Yes, having goals and not being satisfied with what you have is a way to push you to “trying harder” – but then we should also learn to be content with what we DO have and although “incentive” is good to have to help you reach higher, we should not forget the fundamentals of what makes life successful.

    Procrastination is bad – that’s all you need to drop and everything else will come together.

  2. Prexus: FML I think your comment is possibly longer than my blog post itself. -_-

    Well, I tend to be pretty hard on myself sometimes. I guess being the first born and stuff made me extra competitive since I was young. To see my peers going so much further in their lives does make a pretty huge dent in my self-esteem, confidence and contentment as a whole. Even when it comes to studying, I’m not the best there is. While I might be slightly above average, I’m not exactly blowing people away with my wit and intellect LOL! So that is another source of discontentment with myself.

    While I am very aware of my problems, it is very hard to simply ‘change’ my mindset partly because I’m super stubborn at times too. (Jeez I seem to have ALL the bad traits lol)

    Sqiang: Very true, I want to change my attitude too. But that’s not a very easy thing to do. D:

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