not quite okay

Something happened yesterday. I’m not gonna dwell on the details, but suffice to say that said thing has made a pretty huge impact on my life.

I’m not gonna lie and say that it didn’t affect me at all ’cause truth is, it did. Pretty damn much. I was scared, I was confused, I was helpless. All these emotions and feelings rolled into one and you get a fairly distressed and upset me.

I guess I was lucky though. Lucky that nothing really serious had happened. Lucky that I have someone who is ever so understanding and rational even at bad times. Lucky that I can always count on that someone to let me hold on to for dear life.

And truth be told, I’m still a tad afraid now. Of things that might happen, or that someone might lose it and do things that will never be done otherwise.

I do not regret my decision. I chose to move on, and I’m glad I did. I simply cannot imagine turning back to those horrible horrible things that made my life a living nightmare back then. I simply cannot imagine turning back to such immaturity and instability.

How am I suppose to lean on someone who is teetering on the edge ever so precariously all the time? For all I know, I might just fall over any time.

It is time, to grow up, and to think with one’s brain, not one’s feelings. It is time, to learn to control one’s emotions, and not lose it over the smallest things. It is time, to learn that letting go is sometimes the best solution to all the stubbornness that causes one so much suffering  and pain.

Goodbye, and good riddance I say.

3 thoughts on “not quite okay

  1. 我刚知道最近热门话题
    继续加油咯~~~ p(^^)q

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