Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones
This is another ranting post. Yes, I’m unstable like that. *rolls eyes*
In today’s world, everyone is guilty of being judgmental. One can never safely says that one never takes sides and is always objective. Even I am guilty of judging people I hardly know.
Why do we do it then? Why are we so inclined to judge others when we ourselves are hardly perfect? Why do we like to jump to conclusions about people we barely know?
There are just so many things one can be judged for. You’re judged for your looks, your clothes, the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you present yourself. You’re judged for showing your feelings and emotions, for making your voice heard. Basically, you can be judged for anything you do.
My blog is a haven for me, a place where I can relieve my inner feelings, a place where I pour out my heart and soul. It is a refuge for me. A way of keeping my sanity in check. A place that belongs to me, and me alone.
Or so I thought.
It has come to a point where I can no longer write whatever I want however I want it to be in my blog. People whom I’ve never expected actually read my blog. And are making judgments based on what I wrote. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded so much if it was just a random person. But no, people who are close to me or close to those who are close to me (does that or does that sounds confusing -.-) are reading and judging what I write nowadays.
I am no longer free to write as I please for fear of infuriating certain parties. I’ve learnt the hard way that even words, whether carefully thought out or written on a whim, can be misinterpreted. Horribly misinterpreted. People believe what they want to believe. Thus the possibility of twisting and turning your words is actually very high. They might be unintentional, but that does not change the fact that your words and meanings were distorted.
I am no stranger to being misunderstood. Or judged. Or both. But that doesn’t lessen the hurt I feel everytime I was misjudged. Especially if that someone who judged me is someone I care about.
I was told that I am deemed unstable and immature in handling my emotions as I’m always emo-ing and ranting in my blog. It wasn’t told directly to me, but rather, the message was conveyed through another person. When I first heard the comment, I felt ridiculed. What good is a personal blog when I can’t even rant in it when I’m feeling down? If showing my emotions is deemed as unstable and immature, then should I have kept them all in my heart? Should I pretend that all is rosy and well in my life and that I’m always perky and cheery? If I do that would I be deemed as a mature person who is capable of handling her thoughts and feelings the right way?
To be absolutely and brutally honest, I felt that the comment was ridiculous. Every single one of us has feelings. Ups and downs. Some may choose to keep everything to themselves, some may choose to confide in others, and some, like me, chooses to write. To me, it doesn’t really matter what way you use, as long as you are happy with it. But apparently, that is not the case with some.
There is no way one can please everyone with what one does. Everytime you make a decision, someone somewhere somehow is going to disagree with that decision. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to. Have you made the right choice? There is no absolute way of being sure. Only time will tell.
Remember, no one likes to be judged. Even more so when the judgment is unfair. Perhaps every one of us should just keep that little thought in mind the next time we feel inclined to make a hasty judgment about that someone.