It was when you stood up and said that you were going home, that I started to feel a little pinch in my heart. All of a sudden, I felt helpless. I struggled, trying to keep my voice from breaking, trying to keep my tears from falling. I don’t know why. It wasn’t as if we had a fight, in fact, there wasn’t anything besides the fact that you said you should be going home to bed.
I just… didn’t want you to leave. Suddenly, I realised how dependent I really am on you. I never liked to depend too much on people, because I’m afraid of falling down one day, abandoned by those that I was far too dependent on.
I try to keep my distance, as always. To protect myself. To make sure I don’t fall so hard when I can’t depend on that someone anymore.
But, somehow, I found myself slowly but surely leaning on you. More so with each passing day. And it was last night that the full impact finally hit me in the face. Much as I would have liked to stay away, I’ve fallen. Not on the ground, but in your arms. And I sincerely hope that I will remain there, for as long as possible. For as long as you want me to.
I never believed in forever. Or, I should say I never dared to believe in forever. Because forever is not supposed to exist isn’t it? There shouldn’t be forever because there is an end to everything. That’s what I believed all these years. But right here, right now, I will learn to believe in it. That’s my promise to you.