I can’t help myself

Sick sick sick sick…

He won’t change. It’s useless. It’ll just be lies, lies, lies and more lies. I’m too tired to care, I’m too used to his empty promises.

Again and again, he disappoints me. What can I do? I’m tired of pretending I don’t know anything. Silly me. Maybe I should ask myself to wake up from this foolish dream of mine soon, if not now.

I have no idea how long more I can take all this. I’d better not kid myself that he’s truly the one for me. My brain tells me no. But my heart’s not listening. Women are irrational creatures when it comes to matters of the heart. I know that.

I feel so cold… So very very cold that I can’t help shivering even when I’m buried under my blanket now. Give me a sign, anyone. Is it time to give up hope?

I thought I wanted your hug, I thought I needed your hug, when I was shivering underneath the sheets. But when you finally do so, I realised I would rather be cold, than suffocated.

Who knows what else has he been hiding from me. Who knows what else has he been lying about. Who knows what on earth is on his mind and in his heart. Should I just give up? It seems like my attempts are all in vain. A wolf can’t change his skin. Perhaps I should have learn to remember that long ago. Silly Cherrie.

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