It pains me

The problems never seem to have an end to them… Everytime it happens, it pains me so much I felt like giving up and going away, leaving it all behind. But I can’t do it. I can’t, because I’m only human. I have my weaknesses too. I’m not always strong, I’m not always chirpy and bubbly.

There are times I wonder, why am I doing all this? I guess, at the end of the day, I’m still only a girl, a girl, who has more than her fair share of problems to deal with. I’m not the smart, cute, tough girl that I might appear to be on the outside. But nineteen years is plenty of time for me to perfect the art of pretending. Pretending that I’m ok, pretending that I don’t mind, pretending to be the strong one, pretending to be everything that I am not. And will never be.

Will there be a day when I can finally stop pretending? Will there be a day when I can finally be the weak one and have a strong shoulder to lean on? Will there be a day when I can finally be myself and not care about the consequences? Will there… will there…

So many questions, yet, no answers.

2 thoughts on “It pains me

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