New Adventure

And so, we’re nearing the end of the month. It felt like everything has just flew by in the blink of an eye.

If you have me on your Facebook, you’d probably have seen that one of the things that has happened to me the past month is a new relationship. Or, if you’re my stalker boyfriend, then you’d be the person in question who’s now (un)fortunately stuck with me, at least for the time being. #pessimist

It’s quite an odd experience. This is the first relationship of mine since uni that’s been announced to the world. And I do mean the world because the Facebook photo he tagged me in was set to public wtf.

In my past couple of relationships, everything was kept pretty much under wraps, so much so that up until the point that they were over, people still didn’t even know they ever begun. Which I guess is partly my fault as well. The most I’ve ever done was to post pseudo postings on social media with no mentions of anyone else. I’ve been so cautious about letting people know because I couldn’t silence the nagging voice in my head that told me it’d be a mess to explain the drama to everyone when the relationships end. Notice I say when, not if. That and also because I think the past couple of relationships were with people who never gave me much sense of security.

This one however, was a little bit different in the sense that the ball was taken out of my park. The moment he posted the photo for the world to see, everything has been taken out of my control. This is a very unsettling experience for someone like me who constantly needs to feel secured and safe. Unsettling it may be, it is also strangely liberating. For once, I don’t have to tread cautiously because I’ve already been tossed in to the water. For once, I don’t feel like I’m a dirty little secret to be hidden away from the public eye. For once, I feel like maybe he’s even proud to call me his.

That’s not to say that everything is a bed of roses. Of course not, who am I kidding? It’s never a bed of roses, especially if I’m in the picture. But what’s different now is that the stakes are much higher this time around. At least, that’s how I see it. I guess it may have a tiny bit to do with the fact that everything is out in the open, so I feel the increased pressure to not fuck it all up.

It’s difficult sometimes to silent the voices in my head. Then again, I’ve really got no choice but to give it my best shot. I’ve already agreed to taking the leap with him, the least I could do is to try, right? #fingerscrossed

Conversation with my masseuse

Went for a massage last night and my masseuse was just a tad too overzealous. I ended with bruises on my legs and a funny conversation as a keepsake.

And it doesn’t help that my masseuse is from Indonesia and my BM can only be described as laughable at best.

Masseuse: Kamu belajar kah sudah kerja?
Me: Sudah kerja.
Masseuse: Oh, kecik-kecik sudah kerja? Tak habis belajar?
Me: Ya, sudah kerja. Dah habis belajar.
Masseuse: Oh, sampai tingkatan berapa??
Me: -_______- Habis tingkatan lima. Sudah habis semua.
Masseuse: Tak nak pergi universiti kah?
Me: Err… sudah habis universiti juga.
Masseuse: Sudah habis?! Kamu umur berapa?!
Me: 26.
Masseuse: 26? Ohhh, I ingat you masih kecik lagi!
Me: -_______________-

This conversation occurred as I was lying pretty much buck naked on the massage table with her kneading me to within an inch of my death.







Time and time again, it seems like things are going no where but downhill. Do I really need this much sadness in my life? No. But why am I not cutting my losses yet?

Because once upon a time, it was beautiful. And I’m a fool who keeps turning back to look at the past.

Let time be the judge

As the cynic and the optimist battle it out, time sits on the judging panel.

We have just reached half-time. The optimist seems to be having the upper hand for now but the cynic is always just a step or two behind. Who will emerge victorious? Only time can tell.

On one hand, the cynic does seem to have a better track record. But on the other hand, I can’t help but to hope for the best for the optimist. Is that how people who root for underdogs feel? Silly, but hopeful?

It’s all a bit too much to digest at the moment. After all, we’re still in the early stages of the battle. Things really could go either way from here on out. Who is to say either party will even make it past the qualifying round?

For now, let’s sit back and let the reality of things sink in while we wait for the second half of the match, shall we?

New hobby

I have never been one to play any sports enthusiastically except for roller blading and ice skating when I was younger. Even those I’ve stopped because I don’t own a pair of roller blades anymore and nobody I know likes to ice skate.

Recently though, I’ve started playing darts for fun with a bunch of friends and it escalated to a point where practically all of us bought a set of our own darts and meet up regularly to play. Suddenly the house darts just isn’t good enough anymore when your friends all have their own fancy sets. Ah, the wonders of peer pressure. 😅

Granted, though it’s been only a couple of months and I’ve not even been diligently practicing, I do find the sport kinda fun. It’s very rare that I don’t completely suck at a sport (though some might say it’s not really a real sport), considering my horrendous lack of hand eye coordination.

Plus, it’s an opportunity for the gang to meet up regularly instead of just seeing each other once in a blue moon. So that’s always nice.

Maybe if we continue to keep this up, I might even finally be considered good one day. Fat chance, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

Even if I don’t improve much, I guess I can still console myself with the fact that my first ever set of darts is really pretty. #shallow